The Dreamer

Had a terrible night, couldn't sleep properly; this methotrexate is a big cause I think.

Any way early this morning, I had a strange vivid dream; I start off driving along a road, with 'someone' with me, ex wife perhaps, and then the road splits, I take the left lane and it goes from tarmac into dirt, then into mud, then into a muddy lane.

Now it is proper off road: I want to get back onto  a better surface and cross a deep rutted track full of water to get there - and get stuck in deep muddy water. The sun is out, and I get out of the car.

Next I find myself at the end of lane, with a gate, it is green all about, and sunny. I am lost still and on my own now.
I see a set of rambling houses ahead, all in one group and built together, all a bit different. Say 5-10 all in a row, huddling next to the shore.
In front is a beautiful deep blue lake, off in the middle distance is an island, and further on the far shore, steep and green with grass, rolling away into the distance.

Then...
I am inside, sat with a woman in a blue top, with dark hair and pale skin. In front of us is a big picture window and the buildings overhang the lake.
We can see people swimming in the lake, and we are chatting easily. Then another blond woman comes in, she tells me about the place, it is sort of like a commune community, not religious or anything, just self sufficient folk who don't want the rat race misery.

 The blond woman walks me out through the gardens past the end of the community to the gate, I can see the vegetable gardens sloping off down to the lake side, the hedge is on my right. I am told I would be very welcome to come and stay here, join the community, and use my skills to earn my way as everyone else does. And swim in the lake as often as I want. She is close to me and smiles..

That, sadly was the end of my vivid dream. I know somehow, it is somewhere in Dorset, maybe not real, but definitely somewhere I would love to live...

Another day- another dol-lar....

I need my Friday shift, wouldn't be able to pay the bills with out it. Up too early as usual, terrible gale winds and howling rain made driving somewhat scary on the hour trip in. It gets rough up here!
Was in recovery today- it's rather boring.
Let my colleague go early and finished the last case as she will be in tomorrow.

On the last case, I kept my patient for a while until I was happy she was fit to go back. As regards the staff, the bloated lazy one Always ask how long I will take ( so she can shift her fat carcass home asap) I never commit to a time, I send my patients back when I think they are fit  to go out safely, and not before.

Another person, who has been giving me all the right messages/ calls,personal contact etc. and giving me a bit of hope there might be something nice going on, today acted in a way that showed me why I am still single after 5 years. I cant stand the hot/cold, treatment, the revelations about dodgy childhood, the other admissions about unstable behaviour of some sort or other.
Why do I always attract the damn mental cases? Why do I let the selfish shits screw me up?
Her number- now deleted from my phone etc etc..
Should never get involved with work colleagues anyway. You would think I had learned by now.
When I was a young man, my nickname was 'The Binner magnet' as all my girlfriends seemed to have spent time in the bloody loony bin!-
Seems I cant shake that one!

I should have a personal card made to give away with my business cards - saying 'please do not approach me if you have underlying problems you wish to inflict on me'.

Had a swim and steam room after work, felt a bit better. Ruined my diet with some chips and cider this evening. Sod it.....

Here's a fine picture I took of Llandudno pier (even if I do say so myself lol)Them grey skies tell you all you need to know 'bout North Wales ha ha!

Bog Blog....

I have  just completed the most Mind Numbing and Tedious of jobs...

Dirty, fiddly, messy.... yes..... you guessed it. Cleaning Dave Cameron's Y-fronts...

No, not really, detaching, rubbing down, grinding smooth, and painting (two coats) of Hammerite on the toilet seat hinges!

WHY! I hear you ask... well you know how you bought the seat 'cos it matches the bathroom, and then, after a while, all the chrome comes off the metal, and it peels all over the place, the metal goes greeny manky.

So, took hinges off, sorted/painted, re-fit. Boring, but soo much better looking now!

Planned to do Nuffield learning module, but their bloody website was down! Doing that is even MORE miserable and boring than toilet seat hinges!

And sadly -NO money earned at all today -which is way bad, as I never earned anything yesterday either - in fact I only spent money yesterday - the £75 on new brake pads )-:

Dry night tonight - try not to drink on Thursday's as up at 05.30 tomorrow, off to Chester as per ususal, so no fun or anything.
So wheres this then... go on.. guess..

Bloody cars!...

Took the old bus in for some new brake pads today. Went into town and sat in the library, and did my welsh homework whilst waiting.

It was truly appaling weather! howling winds and rain like gods toilet and heating had bust, and was pouring out of the sky, whipped by the wind, into a true deluge of misery! hence one was dripping one's weary way across the carpet of said library.
About 10.30  I get a call from the garage; apparently the caliper has been found to be leaking, hence was unsafe to drive. And no, it wont be fixed until tomorrow, and no, no courtesy car available.

Now this caliper was under warranty, having been fixed last year, which was bloody annoying, but also good in that I didnt have to shell out more money. Still, cost me £80 for pads and labour, which is a lot methinks..
During the work, I took the train from Llandudno back to Colwyn bay, a nice little journey I must say,
only ten minutes or so. Then the bus up to the heights. Amazingly efficient.

So all my day was taken with this stressfull messing around.

The sky this eveninng turned a most foul fleshy pink, before another black storm closed in to soak us yet again.

 Only two patients today, and lucky to have them. Thought I had lost one of them before Xmas, when her neighbour decided that she was 'helping' my cancelling all (my patient's) appointments!.
Any way, said neighbour is, apparently, bloody immense, and has gone in to hospital (hopefully for mouth wiring shut)
Anyway, aforementioned patient, who not only has type 2 diabetes, now has developed cancer, so hopefully she will be OK.
Stopped into Conwy to exchange a shirt I bought on Sunday, and noticed ho high the boats were in the harbour. The tide was very high today, probably driven by the high winds. It was indeed very rough, and all but dangerous to drive when I picked up my son from school.

And what is this picture? 

Entirely gratuitous, taken last summer, meadow flowers on the sunny uplands of Anglesey.

Today....
Have been wasting about 4 hours so that my son Ben can get an xbox live account. This so he can download the remaining Minecraft episodes from the story mode game. He has been driving me MAD with all the signing in, credit card confirmations, hours of online research etc. I really cant stand microsoft and their poison.

Picked  him up from his mothers around 10.30 as per usual. After shopping we had a nice walk
around the walls of Conwy castle. The views are spectacular, across the town itself, and over the Conwy river estuary, to the old castle ruins on the Vadre. The sun had made an appearance, boats facing up stream now, as the full tide was on the ebb, swinging their bows to the current.



The walls encircle the old town, and on the east side, it looks down onto a set of warden controlled flats, and the catholic church. This is where the service was for my old friend Linda, who, sadly, passed away last year. Such a fiesty and intelligent lady, who, in the war, operated secret code breaking computers at Bletchley Park.
Afterwards I had a very nice frappe, the lad had a  Chocolate milkshake in the cafe near the quay. Made sure to speak a bit of welsh, didnt want to the owner to think we were just another tourist with their broad ekky thump accents and no manners.
He did speak a bit of Cymraeg back to us, even though I think he was Turkish. Da Iawn!

Later, we smashed up the hard drives of two old PC's, he enjoyed that!

Well, it's been a long week... I think.
Bit of a blur, nothing special I'm afraid.
Yesterday was a hellish one; got up at 05.30 as per, but had failed to get much sleep, what a bloody nuisance.

The drive in was made unpleasant by howling wind and heavy rain. It is hard work doing this, keeping alert, at such an early hour.
Arrived at 07.30 and got on with it. A heavy day with lots of patients and unhelpful stroppy surgeons. And a grumpy old fashioned gas man in the afternoon.

Friday is the day that is hardest of all on by back and legs. The operating is awkward and very heavy to set up, and of course everything has to be swopped round in between each case.
 It plays hell with my back and legs, and by the time I crawled out the car back at home, it was gone 10 at night.

Missed a hug from my secret friend who had gone before I had finished. Will phone tonight (-;